When Cancer has its own Agenda

A Journey Through Diagnosis, Faith, and the Road Ahead

Here I am, traveling my road, my journey, living out my dreams, living on my own agenda—with the Lord, that is! Then the tires came to a screeching halt. The CAT scan I had in June came back abnormal. When cancer has its own agenda, everything changes.

Yes, cancer has returned. This marks round four of chemo and the fifth cancer diagnosis overall. A few years ago, a mass was removed that didn’t require chemo. When the doctors stayed silent longer than usual about my most recent scan, my family urged me to call. But something deep in my gut already knew. I had been through a rough winter with constant illness, swollen lymph nodes, and a deep pain in my hip. I sensed something was wrong.

With my daughter off to Germany in June and me missing her terribly, this diagnosis hit harder than any before. Maybe it’s because I so badly want to be healed. Or perhaps I was simply overwhelmed by missing her. Depression settled in. Yes, I’ll admit it. But I never lost faith. Please hear that—I know the Lord loves me. Still, I was grieving on so many levels. The words hit just as hard every time: when cancer has its own agenda, it doesn’t care how many times you’ve heard them before.

The Waiting Season – When Cancer Has It’s Own Agenda

Most days, I cried. Some friends messaged me privately, wondering why I hadn’t shared that my scans were clear. The truth? We were silent. We waited until our sweet girl returned from Germany before sharing the news. Two weeks of keeping that secret—it was the hardest and loneliest time.

We waited because our family needed to hear first. As a business owner, I also had responsibilities and questions I couldn’t yet answer. When cancer has its own agenda, it doesn’t care that you’re a mom, a wife, or a wedding photographer with clients depending on you. Telling my September brides was the hardest part—but they’ve been wonderfully supportive.

A huge thank you to Katelyn James, a photographer I admire, for offering business advice during this difficult time. She openly shared her own story of loss in the middle of a wedding season. You can read her story here if you need encouragement too.

The Diagnosis – When Cancer has it’s own agenda

It’s been a long two months filled with CAT scans, PET scans (my first), MRIs (which I loathe), countless X-rays, and endless bloodwork. It’s been a cycle of appointments and anxious waiting. Seeking a second opinion, Jeremy and I visited the James Cancer Center and met with a lymphoma specialist who spent over an hour explaining everything in detail.

Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is back—but not just in the lymph nodes this time. It has spread to my bones and tissue. My right hip is covered in cancer, causing significant pain. The PET scan lit up three major areas: my hip, pelvic bone, and a spot near my adrenal gland. Cancer has also spread around my voice box and throat, explaining my constant discomfort.

The next step? A biopsy to confirm whether the cancer remains the same type. The rapid progression raised questions for the specialist. I’ll start with radiation on the hip—my first experience with radiation—followed by chemo and a stem cell transplant. In all things, God is good. I trust His plan.

Picking Up the Pieces

So here we are. We’ve picked up the pieces and we’re moving forward. I still cry—often without warning—but each day I feel a little stronger. I know the Lord loves me. He is faithful. He has not forgotten me. I choose joy, faith, and trust.

You’ll often see me wearing special gifts from friends: bracelets that say “be brave,” “never lose hope,” or simply a cross. My family is incredible, and I’m blessed with a strong support team.

One morning while editing, I believe the Lord led me to hear a specific song first thing. It’s become an anchor in my journey. If you’d like to listen, here’s my favorite: Mosaic MSC – Tremble.

When cancer has its own agenda, we cling to faith, community, and courage. Thank you for walking this road with me.

Check out my blog where I shared some photos from round 3 chemo. My fellow photographer friend Megan, came to capture the end of that journey.